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“During this session, I got a piece of myself back that had been missing for a long time.”

As someone who has a hard time being in their body, working with rope was the perfect medicine. It gave me something to press up against and feel viscerally. I was working through deep patterning and binds that took place in my childhood and have continued to the present.  

Jason took such care in tying the rope and going slow, pausing to ask me questions, holding me when I cried, and pushing me deeper into the experience. The energy that I received from him was the perfect combination of challenging and gentle. 

He had me talk to my five year old self, imagine her, and what she was looking for at that time.  

It felt like the first time I was really seeing her and acknowledging her pain. I cried so much.  Jason then posed a question that I had never been asked before: “What are you afraid to face by acknowledging this pattern?” 

When he asked, he had me pick an object in the distance that reminded me of the pattern and then look away from it. When I looked back at it, he asked me to answer the question. This was a challenge for me because it was pushing me past the answers my mind wanted me to say, and into what my body truly yearned for. At that moment, I was unable to answer. He said, “Sometimes it's enough to just know that there is something we are afraid to face.” 

Later, I got my answer.

The moment I was suspended in the air was when the tears and grief stopped for a moment, and I felt pure bliss. It felt like I no longer inhabited a body and was simply an orb floating around. One of the ropes was tied to my long, thick hair with a rock attached at the end. The rock weighed my head down as a tether while my body floated. At one point, Jason lifted up the rock and said to me: “Feel all of this weight that you no longer have to carry”. It was a relief. 

Then, I was back on solid ground and the ropes started coming off slowly. Jason had my inner child imagine my older self without all of these ropes and binds tied to me. A future in which I was more free. I could see her. With each rope untied, I watched the binds fall off of this version of me. I felt the pressure of the rope leave my skin. He asked me to undo the last knot of rope. I did, and watched it drop to the ground. 

In the days following this ritual, I made a major life change. I decided to choose myself. During this session, I got a piece of myself back that had been missing for a long time. I feel like there is new life in my blood that I have never felt before.